(Continued)

For the next 2-3 months, I stopped coding. According to the devil on my left shoulder, I am not a technical person, so why would I try? Imposter syndrome is now deeply buried. Meanwhile, I was approaching the end of my mandatory youth service - I need to figure out this life thing as soon as possible.

I have always loved marketing. As a result, I believe it will be a very enjoyable profession and I feel I can help businesses grow and develop. In the near future, I intend to start my digital advertising agency (I do now - check out polongo.org). I am creative, expressive, and very outspoken - a perfect combination. Here comes Marketing. At the core of my being, I knew I was trying to make up for my failure at coding. The desire to continue coding was strong in me. Since I was thinking about it, I decided to combine the two. That was a bad move.

After my youth service ended, I decided to devote myself to digital marketing and keep learning Javascript on the side. The goal? Become an expert at building (coding) and selling (marketing). To keep myself focused, I created a timetable. My welfare was not taken into consideration in any way. The only thing I wanted to do was skill up - become extremely good at marketing and get back into the tech world.

It was during this time that I learned how much I enjoy the feeling of starting something new. Despite making plans to start, I don't always stick to them. I knew I had to start doing these things, but I wasn't sure how I would cope when things got challenging. It was my lack of direction that caused me to quit the first time, but this time it was something different. There were numerous resources available to me - books, udemy courses, pdfs, etc. I had access to all the information I needed to become a job-ready junior developer and digital marketer. The pain, however, was not something I was prepared for.

After starting a digital marketing course, I knew it would not end soon because there were so many things I needed to learn. How much time will I have left to learn Javascript? After finishing Media buying, SEO, and copywriting, I jumped into Jonas Schmedtmann's Zero To Hero Javascript course and learned the fundamentals of Javascript like data types, operators, the switch statement, functions, arrays, and objects. I spent 80% of my time learning and 20% building actual projects.

Towards the end of May, I was burned out. Exhausted. When you're learning without implementing, it feels like that. Since I had no structure, everything I was doing felt endless. I promised myself I would complete the Udacity Nanodegree course on Javascript in four weeks. I procrastinated for two weeks and then rushed through learning for one and a half weeks.

I gained nothing. Nothing. It was difficult for me to complete a couple of projects.

So again, I quit.